Vladimir Putin To Kenya: End Starvation In Your Country Before Lecturing Us On International Disputes
Russian President, Vladimir Putin, has rubbished the remarks by Kenya’s Permanent Representative to the UN as that of a young boy trying to shake a baobab tree but only ends up shaking his own buttocks. Ambassador Dr. Martin Kimani had condemned the threat to Ukrainian sovereignty by President Vladimir Putin’s government warning the inscrutable leader to respect its border with Ukraine or face tough economic sanctions from Kenya. He was speaking at an emergency meeting of the U.N. Security Council, called to discuss the Russian aggression against Ukraine.
In utmost savagery, Putin has responded to Kenya saying that the country has no moral authority to lecture Russia on international disputes when millions of her citizens are facing starvation fifty years later after gaining its ‘so-called independence.’
“I was not going to respond to that third-world country, but I have only this to say. Kenya should concentrate on ending starvation that continues to bedevil it instead of trying to talk about things they do not understand. Kenya doesn’t know anything about international disputes, focus on the things that matter to you,” said President Vladimir in an exclusive interview.
Putin wondered why Kenya had the audacity to bite the very finger that feeds it saying his government has always donated millions of tons of rice to support Kenya fight starvation
“Analysis shows that 14.5 million Kenyans face food insecurity and poor nutrition each year. Last year, 2.6 million Kenyans were said to be in a food insecurity crisis. Through our kind hearts as the people of Russia, we donated millions of shillings and thousands of bags of rice to help Kenya survive the harsh economic effects of COVID-19. It is very shocking when such a state relying on food donations claims it is going to issue economic sanctions,” Vladimir Putin said bursting into uncontrollable thunderous laughter.
Putin called on the Kenyan government to support the farming sector and industry observing that millions of its citizens rely on it as their main source of income, and also because it needs to produce more food, cheaply. He advised Kenyatta to compensate farmers for losses: for instance due to locust destruction or when there are crop failures if the country has to be serious about ending starvation.
“The Kenyan government should support efforts to modernize farming practices and improve farmer links to markets and inputs, like seeds and fertilizers. Ensure farmers have an access to finance, such as bank loans to be able to purchase the equipment, put more farm labor and inputs required for optimal food production. Concentrate on this and just stop talking nonsense about Ukraine-Russia boundaries,” added Vladimir.
He further said Kenya as a country was facing a lot of challenges already and it would be ridiculous for her to engage in things that are beyond her scope instead of pushing for cooperation that will help tackle the very challenges.
Edit:
STATEMENT: I would like to apologize to all social media users for the high-impact fake news that I have created on President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, responding to Kenya. I want to confirm that is a made-up satirical article that I wrote on my Medium Web, and that Putin has not said a thing regarding Amb. Martin Kimani’s UN speech.
